Detective Jones walked back to the big house, feeling yet again subtly bested by three hundred years of privilege. Behind him, the team prepared to drag the lake for Lord Wriothesley’s body, but Jones was now sure they would not find it there. There were still too many questions unanswered. Who had given Wriothesley his nightcap on the night he died if not Menzies the butler? Was Lady Alverdiscott telling the truth about returning from the party alone? What was international arms dealer St John Dalziel’s connection to the mysterious Miss Mainwaring-Death? And why had the High Holborn gang holed up at Happisburgh?
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Part two
Detective Jones walked back up to the big house. Lady Alverdiscott watched him go, the smile gradually fading from her lips. Without looking down she ran the silk scarf across her palms then pulled it tight with her fists. It made an audible snap.
You mewling baby. You quivering amoeba. Waste your time dragging the damn lake. You will never find Lord Wriothesley there.
Just another jumped up plod coming onto the grieving widow, like so many before. With his ugly clothes and bad teeth and gimcrack grammar school gallantry.
What a virgin.
A trembling lip, a glistening eyelash at the right moment, that would be all it took. He would cry afterwards. They all did.
And then … and then … he would become like the others, all the Lord Wriothesleys and Sir Johns and Sir James and Sir Andrews, like all the men who had crossed her path. He would disappear and she would remain.
And so it would begin again. And so it would go on forever.
Hurry hurry hurry, can’t wait to look at you.
Hurry hurry hurry, can’t wait to get you home.
When you were gone I felt I’d died too. Now I’ve got you back things will be different.
I will not go on tour with the band when things are bad between us which used to be always.
We will spend our days together. We will really have that talk about maybe one day starting a family.
I will not write songs about other women and pretend they are about you. I promise.
I will not get drunk so much. I really mean it this time.
Hurry hurry hurry, can’t wait to look at you.
Hurry hurry hurry, can’t wait to get you home.
One little baby, sitting on a cloud
Mama gives him a big kiss
Mama is so proud
Two little babies, wriggling their toes
Mama’s going to knit them
Some cheerful cosy clothes
Three little babies, wrapped up tight
Keep laughing baby
Mama is all right
Four little babies, playing with their toys
Mama has a special gift
For all the girls and boys
Five little babies, puffing out their cheeks
Mama takes them for a walk
Away down to the creek
Six little babies, cheerful as can be
Mama tucks them all to sleep
And has a cup of tea
‘Jeez, she should be here by now. I mean, the hurly burly was done half an hour ago already.’
'Do you think she got the message about the change of venue? It is a bit out of the way here.’
‘Well she’s got a mobile, she can just look it up like a normal person.’
‘She hasn’t got a smartphone, though.’
‘Jesus, no, seriously.’
‘No, she’s still got one of those old-school ones.’
‘Jesus, so much reverse snobbery about those bloody things. Just get a phone that fucking works like everyone else’s or fuck off already.’
‘Tell me about it. Wait, FINALLY! she just sent a text. ‘Rnnng l@ strt mtg wtht me xx Hec@e
‘JESUS H CHRIST!’
But as I was saying pumpkin, it’s not like it bothered me, I’m not one of those – it’s the principle, though, right, I mean, I’m sorry buddy, but that’s just how – it’s a narrow street, it’s an old street – you know what I mean pumpkin, I don’t need to tell you – I’m a pretty easygoing – I mean ask anyone, if it was up to me just park anywhere, but I’m sorry but where would we – I don’t make the rules, I’d be happy to let it go, but this is society, someone’s gotta, someone has to take a stand.
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‘Father and I will leave you now. Today you must find your own way home, children.’
‘But how will we find the way home without you, Mother?
‘We have left a trail of breadcrumbs for you to follow, my son.’
‘And if the birds eat all the breadcrumbs, Father?
‘Then the sun will guide you home, dearest daughter.’
‘And if there’s no sun to guide us home?’
‘Then you will use the moon.’
‘And what if there is no moon?’
‘Then you must pray to God to guide you.’
‘And what if there is no God?’
‘Then you will not find your way back home.’






